As I mentioned in a previous post, during the past few years I have been consulting. I had left my full time job as a child development specialist with an Early Head Start program after I learned of my infertility and it just became too hard working with the families and kids. Since I also have a background in training and international education, my consulting focused on evaluating education development projects.
My last contract finished last year, and while I have been contract searching, I have also been evaluating my career options. Do I want to continue consulting? Do I want a full time job? Consulting provides flexibility, I'm my own boss, I get to travel..... but it is so stressful in between contracts. Full time provides stability, and an opportunity to really sink my teeth into projects longer-term..... but I am concerned I'll get bored with the 9-5 routine. Consulting - my contracts have included travel from 5 weeks - 3.5 months away from home at a time, but if my DH and I are thinking about being a family of two, does it make sense being apart for so long? Full time - I am scared about the office politics and socializations; I am terrified of having to see a pregnant coworker day after day after day, listening to her kvetch about her pregnancy woes (I'll trade with you!!!!), and listening to parents talking about their kids..... I don't know if I am strong enough yet to handle it.
As you can see, I am so confused. I continue to apply to both consulting and full time opportunities, and today I had an interview for a full time job. It sounds really interesting, and I would leave consulting if I was offered this position.... but, the though of being in an office environment is nerve racking! Plus, this would be with a very large organization focusing on training and advocacy issues - around young children! I love the organization, but being in such a child-focused, child-friendly environment, can I do that to myself? Am I strong enough to do that? It would give me a chance to continue working in the field of education....
All I can do is wait and see, and continue applying.